Pitfalls of Stoicism

I have a tendency to struggle through life trying to make everything appear effortless and brushing aside compliments as if I don’t deserve them—“because really I wasn’t trying” when in reality I am putting time and energy into everything. This wouldn’t be a problem if I wasn’t so darn touchy about people thinking I’m lazy or things are perfect, when they aren’t.

For example, it really bugged me when my coworkers stated that I always just breeze by whenever they seem to be working hard, implying that I am not. Now, while it was stated as a joke, I think there is a nugget of true feeling behind the words. It’s frustrating because in reality today: my back was sore, my eyes were tired, and I just want to crawl into bed and not continue with my job (or the day at all), but instead I presented a smiling and willing façade ready to do whatever was tossed my way. This is partly because I believe presentation is important (hello, style blog!) and also because I don’t like to admit my weaknesses.
Another aggravation I frequently feel is: people believing I spend more on my clothes than I do. I don’t like to talk about money matters and the price of things, because I was just raised in a family where it wasn’t polite. So, the seemingly large wardrobe comes from..? It is partly the illusion of styling and partly the result of extreme frugality. I don’t go out to eat (ever, ask my co-workers), I live on campus in a tiny dorm room, no vehicle (which means no gasoline, no insurance, and also no transportation), etc. Secondly, I always shop in the sale section and frequent secondhand and vintage stores. So, how much money do I spend? Not as much as you think. First off, I work at a minimum wage job, which means I don’t make a lot. The most expensive item I have ever bought was $98 prom dress which I used gift cards on to actually pay far less than that. I consider a $60 item a splurge—yes, you heard me $60 is a splurge, if I buy an item costing that much it will probably be the only thing I buy for at least a week. This is not to say I have problems with spending more on quality items; when I have the money I fully intend to indulge myself in many of the items I admire, but I quite frankly do not have the funds at the moment.
So, being the cheapskate, broke college student that I am, I do get touchy when people comment on my shopping habits/affordability of my wardrobe. Admittedly I am being sensitive about this, but I think it is important for people to know that style can’t be bought. I just felt the need to the clear the air some…theclotheshorse, the clothes horse, thrift, shop, secondhand, fashion, style, cheapskate, college, student, personal, photoshoot, clover, purple, vintagetheclotheshorse, the clothes horse, thrift, shop, secondhand, fashion, style, cheapskate, college, student, personal, photoshoot, clover, purple, vintagetheclotheshorse, the clothes horse, thrift, shop, secondhand, fashion, style, cheapskate, college, student, personal, photoshoot, clover, purple, vintagetheclotheshorse, the clothes horse, thrift, shop, secondhand, fashion, style, cheapskate, college, student, personal, photoshoot, clover, purple, vintage
This is probably the only time I will do this, but let’s break down my outfit and its cost: Dress- vintage secondhand ($2.50), belt- secondhand ($1.00), shoes- Urban Outfitters sale ($20), bag- gift

CONVERSATION

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