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State Of Stasis

Sometimes I feel as if who I am is very hazy--if I'm in the South long enough I'll start saying "ya'll" and speaking with a slight drawl, but I lose it the instant I go North and interact with a different crowd. My behaviors also alter based on who is surrounding me and my wardrobe choices are dependent upon location, weather, the day's activities, etc. These externalities however don't really define me; the way I talk doesn't really change what I have to say and choosing to be silent doesn't stop my thoughts from racing. As a blogger for nearly five years I've received a number of comments stating that I've changed and so has my blog in that time--to which I just want to nod my head and cry "yes!" Even the recent editing choices I've made has received numerous critiques. Please don't mistake this as a "woe is me" post about how people are complaining because overwhelmingly people are kind and complimentary--rather I just want to acknowledge that I have changed (and am still evolving) and as long as I blog this will continue to happen. I'm not dressing as a college student on a limited budget with ready access to thrift stores who has to navigate a large and hilly campus, because I am no longer a student. That's just a simple sartorial example though, the changes I've gone from living at home and at school to living on my own, from being a student to being an adult--is much more complex. My mental and emotional state has changed much over the years; I'm getting better at telling people when they upset me and at being more vulnerable and open (perhaps that's why I'm writing this post which normally I'd not!).
If you had asked me four years ago if I'd still have a blog now, I'd probably say it was unlikely. I'm constantly amazed I stuck with blogging since it was my first foray into the world of online writing and sharing. But you could have asked me a year ago if I'd cut my hair and I probably would have said "no more than two inches." Yet, from where I am now the way life has led and the decisions I've made hold perfect sense to me. I feel as if I've always lived in a constant state of change--I think it comes from not only moving your home every few years but also your friendships; you start over constantly when you grow up moving. The way others see you help shape the way you see yourself and losing one best friend and making a new one brings out new qualities in yourself you weren't aware of before--some of my friends make me outgoing while others dominate conversation and I become more of a listener. This sort of change can happen in the space of a day: from a lunch out with a friend to dinner with someone else, or it can be the more significant change of a best friend in North Carolina who drives you to jump into new activities to a new best friend in Washington who you create a private world with that you retreat into together during lunch and after school excluding others from your secret language and anecdotes.
In regards to this blog it's a tenuous balance I try to maintain between allowing myself the freedom to explore new interests and maintain my "usual" style (not literally meaning fashion here) in order to keep those who visit this corner happy. My blog success is defined by the number of people who find it enjoyable to visit and like many other people--I like making others happy; a comment that someone dislikes my new editing doesn't make me think "oh no these pictures suck" but makes me pause and consider whether the change is better than how it used to be. Criticism is good and can definitely be constructive, especially since I don't blog just for me. I however don't want to let disappointing some people stop me from experimenting, since I think experimentation can often lead to growth. As I stated a couple of weeks ago: cutting my hair helped me to stop defining myself by my hair. Even if some mornings I miss my long hair and look at pictures of girls with braids longingly, I wouldn't go back and stop myself from making the change for anything--it was definitely the right decision for me.
So, if I am blogging in another five years (wow), you can expect a lot more changes between now and then--I'll probably live in another state, I imagine my hair will look differently, but I can promise I'll still be wearing clothes that make me feel good and sharing art and fashion that inspires me. No one's obligated to like the changes I make (or stick around and deal with them or be silent), but I do hope no one expects me to stick to a state of stasis, because that would be both impossible and unhealthy. It is likely I'll push repeat and talk about all this all over again down the road.

Outfit details:

28 comments:

Sandra said...

What a great post. I love the way your blog has evolved, it's allowed your readers who have also grown to stay interested in topics relevant to their age. Great job!!! Also love the dress!!!

Kimberley said...

I love how you and your blog are changing! Although I don't comment very much (I don't even know why..) I've been following your blog for about 2 years or so now and I think that the changes are probably one of the reasons I still follow you. It's always a suprise to see what news you have come up with -it's always refreshing. I think life wouldn't be much fun or interesting if nothing ever changed.

alcina ginger said...

I've been following your blog for almost two years now and i love it all around. I haven't commented that much but i think there's a perfect balance of your outfits, art and fashion. You always look amazing in whatever your wearing. keep it going girl!

eleanormeleanor said...

You are easily one of the coolest and most eloquent voices in fashion blogging. I like your style and your little thoughts you share with your daily outfits, an I like that your posts have evolved with you. It's awesome.

Anonymous said...

I've followed your blog for about 3 years or so! I read a lot of fashion/lifestyle blogs but yours was the first blog I really followed and it is still my favorite.

Suzanne Carillo Style Files said...

Change is inevitable and healthy. It means you're growing into the person you were meant to be.

http://bisous.typepad.com/bisous/

Anonymous said...

I've followed you probably at least these 5 years. I have your old college days saved to my inspiration folder, though still located on my old PC drives until I yank them off one day, but I agree that life is about growth. Also I totally understand how freeing and differenting chopping off your hair can be as I did the same a year ago. From mid-back length right down to a short pixie too. Life is too short to be stuck in a rut :)

Bevin Valentine said...

I've been reading your blog for almost a year, and I have to say that I've noticed and been impressed with the changes in recent months--not only with the editing of your photos, but also the variety of compositions has, I think, been more daring. I think it adds more dimension and shows a great deal of creativity, and makes your blog one that I look forward to reading and find very inspiring. Kudos.

♥ Cassandra (Backtofive) said...

Love the color of your dress! :D

backtofive.blogspot.com
backtofive.blogspot.com
backtofive's twitter

Laura said...

Beautifully put! Of course people change, and it's natural for a blog to reflect that. Since it is such a personal record, it would be odd if everything always stayed exactly the same - there would be no growth. I've really enjoyed following your journey, and appreciate you sharing it with us :)

thejoyfulfox.blogspot.com

blind_dado said...

I've been reading your blog since just about the beginning. I'm probably not your typical reader, because I'm a guy. But I've really enjoyed watching your travels and seeing you grow and face difficult decisions about life and career. Your photos are so beautiful and inspirational, and I've discovered much beauty through links you have posted. The fact that you make decisions that not everyone agrees with (including me!) makes you a real person and not just some product that is being marketed to us based on a statistical survey of what most people want. Just think if art was made that way. It wouldn't really be art. Keep doing what you're doing and being who you are. I think you're awesome.

The Braided Bandit said...

Well said Rebecca!
And let's be honest, some people stick around just to complain. If you didn't change, they would probably complain that you were in statis!
Hope you have a wonderful weekend and keep doing what you're doing!
xo Hannah

Anonymous said...

fashion is always changing with people! change is always good but not everyone likes change if it's not good or accommodating to their views. there is a basic style or attitude about you that has stuck around since you started the blog that makes you 'the clothes horse,' i don't think you changed in any way that is worthy of being criticized at all because i honestly don't notice any big changes.. the change with your hair, i was not surprised at all because you've always been quirky, cute and strong minded person (that's the image of short hair girls for u <3)

jenna l. said...

hey there! my name is jenna and i've been reading your blog for a few years. you inspired me to start my own! i would love for you to check it out :) you are tryuy a style inspiration to me, in fact my first outfit post was inspired by you.

Sarah said...

Love this post! You seem like a very wise person.

Georgie said...

wow, I like this post! You are so right and you have written it so nicely. I have noticed that you have changed a little bit but so does everybody. It´s necessary... Good luck in your future and I am looking forward to reading your blog in five years ;)

Two Happy Hearts said...

Wonderful post! Thank you for sharing your heart. Honestly, critical comments go hand-in-hand with blogging. And while criticism CAN be helpful, it can also be hurtful at the same time.
Just know that you are inspiring SO many with your blog. Keep on trusting your heart with what you post here...because it's apparent that that's exactly what you already do!

Oh, and you look ADORABLE as always ;)

Kimberellie said...

great post. I LOVE that you are writing more overall. I mean, I know I'm not SUPPOSED to like reading blogs mainly to spy on other people's lives...but it's totally the reason. It's the same reason I read fiction, actually. It's just so limiting to live only one life, you know?

So thanks for sharing more of yours! And you know what, I really like the new editing. And I'm going to stick around regardless. Yours was the first blog I read! And it is one of the few I continue to read now that I have limited time (avec children). I understand the pressure to blog so people like it, but also so it's yourself. I'm afraid I never could find the right balance.

Anyway, you're awesome and can do no wrong in my eyes. ;-)

Ruta, Look Ugly in a Photograph said...

You write beautifully. And I agree with you completely. I think it's a shame when people expect others to remain stuck in almost limbo, if I can use that word.

This was a lovely read. Thanks for being an inspiration Rebecca!

Mallory | The Storm in a Teacup said...

I totally understand what you're saying. It's sort of like when Bob Dylan decided he wanted to go electric at Newport Folk Fest in 1965 and he got booed by his own fans. But either people stick with you and like the changes, or they stop following you and new people do instead. It's no big deal, yeah?

Kristian said...

Adding my voice to the mix- I like your blog and I for the most part really enjoyed all the changes in photo style of late. Because no meter how one changes or evolves it is still that person at the core and we canal see that.

MintJulep said...

Can I be honest? The thing that keeps me coming back to your blog - and so many other blogs - is to be a witness to the change, the evolution in the bloggers. That is what makes reading a blog and following it so interesting, it's like one knows the person, seeing the person grow and evolve and change. Please keep going with that journey of evolution, it makes it so interesting to watch. I have stoped following blogs because of the lack of evolution and change... but not yours. You go, girl!
http://fashionfauxpas-mintjulep.blogspot.com

Kitty said...

Excellent post. Although I do not often comment on this blog (or any blogs for that matter), I have been a faithful reader since you started this blog years ago. I find the evolution of your blog to be refreshing. A blogger should always stay true to his or her self. Readers tend to mature and grow along with the authors of the blog that they read. I find your blog very inspirational, and continue to check it daily.

Daisy said...

It would be very sad if someone had not changed over 5 years, if their way of life, hair and daily routine was the same. It is natural to change and as you said change comes in many forms and is influenced by nature. I really do enjoy your blog and I enjoy seeing you change.

Ms. Kristen-Crayon said...

You go, girl!

Petunia Mae said...

GREAT post. Still love your blog and have enjoyed watching the changes in the last few years! You are always an inspiration. xo

Helen said...

Of all the blogs that I read and have read, you are perhaps the most direct, upfront and unashamedly 'yourself' in your attitude and writing. No fakery or hiding behind a perfectly-crafted persona. I admire the growth of your self-confidence and creativity, and that you realise that this what constitutes the heart of your blog.

Rebecca, The Clothes Horse said...

Thank you everyone for the wonderful comments. While this wasn't a "woe is me" post--it's always really nice to hear people enjoy the changes I'm sharing and the old blog in general. :)