What I Want To Do Next

peatplaid-32Recently someone asked me what I wanted to do next. They knew I’ve had my ups and downs with social media and freelance life in the past few years and wondered if I had considered what could be next—what job would I like to aim for after this? How was I going to up my hustle or improve my position? When was I going to aim for something more? Honestly the question had me sweating, suddenly I was asking myself “what do I want to do next?” I had a 9-5 job in 2017 and part of 2018, but I walked away from that (it’s a story for another day) and as good as that job was in many ways, I know I don’t want to go back to that (I've worked multiple offline jobs while simultaneously blogging). But freelance life is stressful; some months are good and some months are straight up awful and I’m honestly not the best person at managing stress! I also spend far too much time comparing my journey with other people's and wondering why I'm not hitting the same milestones, or earning as much, etc. I spent several days pondering this question “what do I want to do next?” and trying to figure out what my goals should be and how I would work towards them. I mean what if all of social media crashes forever and no one ever wants to work with me again, what then? The question nearly kept me up at night until I came to a realization that the entire premise was a red herring. Ultimately, I don’t want to be focused on “what I do” or my career path. So often when I focus on what I want to do it becomes about having more; earning more, living in a bigger house, being able to afford more expensive items, etc. But I don't actually want more. What is the point of working towards higher earnings and a better job if ultimately I want less? It makes me wonder when we decided that our occupations were our vocations and identity? When did what we do for a living become more important than what we did with our lives? Why is the ability to acquire more stuff and fancier stuff seen as the ultimate achievement? So instead of focusing on my job prospects I’m trying to focus on the type of life I want and honestly that life is pretty simple. I’d like to own a house somewhere in the countryside so I can walk out my door and straight into nature with Thomas and our dog by my side. I’d like the house to be big enough that when my parents visit there’s space for them to stay with us (the gatehouse doesn’t have this space otherwise I might never move from my current home). I could go into more specifics about how I’d like to actually learn to garden or write a novel or make my own jam every year or have an open fire place, but ultimately that’s the goal: to live in a cozy house somewhere quiet. That’s what I want next. And you know what? That goal doesn't require me to earn an impressive-sounding income, it doesn't need a flashy job, or an outstanding CV. Now instead of focusing on what I’d like to do, I’m going to focus on where I’d like to be and who I’d like to become. I know I’ll still have to work and earn money in order to afford the goal, but now the job isn’t the goal. It’s a means to an end. It’s what I do, not who I am. I'm still planning on changing things up next year and trying my hand at new sidelines, but shifting the focus to a more long-term personal goal has helped me step outside of the comparison game and feel that I have something really lovely to work towards.peatplaid-15 peatplaid-5-side
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CONVERSATION

11 comments:

  1. This was such a refreshing, encouraging post.
    And I adore your photoshoots with Solomon, you two are a great duo 🥰

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  2. Very inspiring, I quite agree with you. Love the dress and the necklace. Beautiful as always ❤

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  3. I absolutely love your thoughts on this. I too want a simple life and struggle with the idea that we should all be striving for a better title in order to earn more money and buy new, expensive things. Most of the things in life that make me happy are free and what I ultimately want is more time to enjoy them. With black Friday this week, everywhere I turn is all about holiday shopping. I so appreciate this refreshing change of pace!

    Kaylee

    chasingthelook.co | Capsule Wardrobe & Thrifted Style

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  4. Beautiful photos, as always. :) This is a refreshing perspective for this time of year. It's a nice reminder of what truly matters.

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  5. Lovely post. I have been a fan of your photography for some time. Thank you for this honest post that reveals the ways in which cultural definitions of success are in conflict with what many value in their lives: creativity, spending time in nature, and spending time with family. It really resonated with me.

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  6. Such meaningful thoughts, Rebecca 💖. You're so right. I'm also thinking over my work situation. Thank you for the inspiration. And the photos are lovely, as always 😍.

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  7. Yes, write that book! And why not write it now? Who knows, it could become the gateway to the life you absolutely want...

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  8. This was so inspiring to read because I seem to be at a similar crossroad myself. Scared to take a bold step into a life on the road with my photography instead of paying for an apartment I’m not happy in- stuck. But such a change is scary! Thank you for sharing your thoughts; it has given me a bit of courage. -Mallo

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  9. Beautiful outfit on you! Photos are wonderful as always. Your dog is so big already. I agree with a lot of what you have written. I have that feeling a lot. The older you get the worse it becomes. I also realize those who have it better have often had more and had easier. You can't compare apple to oranges as the saying goes. But we try. I hope you find what you need.

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  10. It was wonderful to read such an honest and inspiring post. I've also spent a lot of time re-evaluating my life over the last few years and have made some big changes. I haven't quite figured out what would make me happy, but at least I've cut out a lot of things that made me miserable. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

    Kathrin | Polar Bear Style

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