Stairway To Heaven

Lately, I've been thinking about those breath-taking, self-possessed girls I used to admire so in junior high (and even in high school). They were usually only a few years older than me, but they just had this sort of presence. There was no real specification on their style or social ranking that impressed them to me, more it was their posture and ease. I've always been shy and rather a nervous person (still am) and they seemed so comfortable and confident (and beautiful). Mostly though perhaps what it was was that they seemed "polished," all their rough edges had been worn away—replaced with breezy small talk, bright smiles and flawless hair and makeup. They seemed to tower above me in their composure and grace.

Now I look back and I'm not as impressed. What's more though, I wonder if I have become that to anyone. I wonder if any of the freshmen girls I interacted with (and there weren't many) as a high school senior, felt intimidated by me. I want to know if the high school seniors who visit my college campus and see me in the Admissions office find me aloof or sophisticated. I know myself very well now, much more than I did when I was younger, but I am still capable of being stripped down to feeling like a fumbling fool in the presence of a particularly pulled-together female.
Is it just part of life that when we are young we will pick out certain aspects of people and then put them on pedestals without ever really realizing what they are really like? I saw pretty shells and was humbled, but if I ranked them in terms of GPA, peer pressures, lifestyle choices and so on, I would not admire many of those girls I did before. But that's the problem with putting people on pedestals...they don't belong there.
Outfit details: dress- vintage (worn as a top), skirt- Urban Outfitters, shoes- Madden Girl from Marshalls


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