An Anti-Valentine's Day Post

vday It might seem a bit strange for me to be writing this blog post trashing Valentine's Day when I'm an old married lady, but anyone who has been reading this blog from the beginning should know that my husband is also my first boyfriend. And we didn't meet until I was 26, so that I have quite a few single Valentine's Days under my belt and while I was never that bitter about it, the day always seems like a bit of a waste to me. With my "years of experience" as a single lady I also tend to get a lot of questions about how to be happily single and what not. I definitely don't have all the answers either for people single or in a relationship, but I can always share what my own experiences have been like. For me I didn't really date at all, which was partly my choice since I didn't "put myself out there" (whatever that means, but it's something friends, family, and strangers seem to agree I didn't do), but equally--no one was beating down my door to take me out! I didn't have random missed connections or guys begging for a date. Not that I'm complaining, to be honest most of the time I never minded being single, even on the big V-day. Maybe it's because since I was little my Dad always gave me a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day (thanks Dad!) so the day was never completely devoid of chocolate or joy! But mostly I think it's because I was always focused on other things--school or work, books or hobbies; my time was occupied and being single wasn't even a label I applied to myself as much as "introvert" or "nerd." Some people think being single takes strength, I think it mostly takes distraction and strong relationships. When we say relationship we usually mean a romantic one with a partner, but there are so many important, emotional relationships around us that we should be investing in--friends, family, etc. I think when all of those relationships are strong, healthy, and mutual then the lack of a single, romantic relationship has less sting no matter the date.
Even now that I'm married Valentine's Day isn't a big deal in our house--we did go see a cheesy movie on Tuesday but that's because Tuesday is half price ticket night (woot!) and we love a bargain, but other than that we have no plans. We're more about spontaneous acts of affection or figuring out special days that matter to us as individuals rather than big holidays--maybe because I'm terrible at remembering significant dates full stop and barely know when our anniversary is! Even if you don't really care about Valentine's Day it's hard to escape the love fest; from Valentine's Day gift guides to cheesy commercials and boxes of candy hearts virtually everywhere and that can get old whether you're single or in a relationship. So instead of a romantic gift guide I'm offering up my suggestions on what to do today instead of celebrating...
1. Act like this is just a day like any other. There's really nothing that makes one day more special than another day other than our own tendency to emphasize certain events or occasions. So there's no reason to get worked up over a plain old Wednesday. One of the best coping mechanisms (in my opinion) over a holiday you don't care about is just to pretend it doesn't exist. Continue with your regularly scheduled programming, nothing to see here, etc...
2. Escape the noise. You know where there aren't dozens of chocolate hearts for sale or commercials trying to market romance? The woods, the mountains, or basically any place in nature. Grabbing an hour to go for a walk or hike in nature is always a good thing, especially on a day you might need to clear your head or lift your spirits--even if it is February! Look for beautiful spots that are less dependent on the season to look nice or if you're in the UK chase down your nearest snowdrop trail for a glimpse of spring.
3. Celebrate your friendships and the special women in your life. Technically Galentine's Day is supposed to be a separate day from Valentine's Day, but honestly how many days do we have when we celebrate our friendships or the special women in our lives? Especially compared to days we celebrate our relationships--everyone has anniversaries for their significant other! So why not turn Valentine's Day into an excuse to meet up with your besties in the middle of the week for a hangout, or stay in an watch terrible rom-coms or maybe paint the town red--choose your own adventure really.
4. Throw an anti-Valentine's Day party. Maybe you've already done the Galentine's Day thing, or you're starting to realize there's truth to the saying, "there's strength in numbers;" so why not organize an impromptu Anti-Valentine's Day party and invite every single person you know? You can go all out on the anti-cheesy decorations and anti-love playlist and end up having a blast with a bunch of other people who hate this day as much as you!
5. Buy yourself some donuts. Being single is not a reason to not do the things you want to do--want to go to a movie? Take yourself. Want a box of chocolates? Buy yourself some. Not having a significant other shouldn't prevent you from pursuing the job, adventure, or life you want, so don't let it prevent you from getting yourself some silly Valentine's Day treat you want. There's no law against buying yourself some roses or peonies! Besides chocolate donuts make everything better. 
vday-2

CONVERSATION

10 comments:

  1. Wow, I am pretty much exactly the person you described yourself as before you met your husband! I'm definitely not anti-Valentine's Day, mostly because I love giving my family/friends homemade valentines and the aesthetic of pink & red together, but I love the sentiment of this post. :) Being single really isn't that bad, and since I'm still in my early twenties, your story is pretty much #goals...I'm perfectly happy and busy being single for the moment and hope other single ladies can feel the same!

    ReplyDelete
  2. These are all such great ideas. I don't think that Valentine's Day should just be a day that you celebrate with your significant other, but with all the ones you love. I think I learned that at an early age because my mom would always get my sisters and I presents to show us the love.

    xoxo
    Stacey
    http://staceylyynn.wixsite.com/stylingsofstacey

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good for you, coming in with an alternative view - very important this day and age I think, even if not everyone will agree with you.

    I'm not keen on V Day also this is mostly due to feeling pushed into consumerism (so many of our holidays are becoming like this, whatever they started as) and unnecessary sugar consumption (ditto)!

    Did you know it was International Book Sharing Day on Feb 14 as well? I didn't but just googled to find an alternative and I really don't know who comes up with these things, but anyway, I ran with that rather than the red heart/rose/chocolate approach. Much more me!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. We just got in from an evening of seeing three rather absurd one-act comedy plays (including cockroach costumes) and brought home kebabs from the corner shop! Getting to see live theater was a treat but it was also discount openening night. Love those deals! The affection level over here is pretty high day to day so I totally agree that picking some random day to be "extra romantic" just feels unnecessary. or maybe it was those 26 single ones I had too!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your sweater is so cute, Happy Valentines Day!
    xo
    www.laurajaneatelier.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. I just think that celebrating love one day per year is quite rediculous.
    So let's celebrate it every day, with friends, family and close ones.
    Thanks for your smile
    Marilyn

    ReplyDelete
  7. I met my significant other when we were 15, in high school, and we both didn't know much about dating. Now 15 years later we are still happily together :) There is nothing wrong with only ever having one boyfriend, just means that you were patient and not in a hurry :) That said, we don't really celebrate Valentines Day anymore. It's just kind of another excuse to buy flowers that will die, or dinner that will be over in 45 minutes. May as well make everyday special for the two of you :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. i'm chronically single as well, and happily so. i only miss someone (but it doesn't even have to be an SO, a sibling or a friend would do), when i need to go pee at the airport and i have to put all the lugagge in the stall, or miss my place in a line. that being said, valentines day has always been such a non occurence in my life. i'm portuguese, so we as a country only started celebrating it 15 years ago or so. i just ignore it and treat it as any other day. instagram tells me there's all these ppl who need to tell everyone they are happy together, and i think, good for them. but deep down i respect the ones who post nothing special a little more. (loved your sily pictures btw)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love this post! So needed. xx

    -Jacqueline

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love that you write this post! I am very happily single and content and I just turned 40. :-) I agree with you about staying focused on the things you feel passionate about, and the people you love. I have a wonderful community, and basically my dream job after all of these years and I couldn't ask for more. I'm catching up on your blog posts actually after a long stretch of transition into this new dream job! I'm enjoying the beauty and creativity of it on my Sabbath day. Lots of love!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting my blog and taking the time to leave a comment!

My Instagram

Instagram

Follow Me
Back
to top