Paradoxes Of Blogging

One commenter astutely pointed out there was something amiss in my thinking when I stated I didn't feel comfortable wearing a sheer blouse out around physical human beings, but I clearly felt comfortable posting the pictures online. It is a paradox, but I still hold to what I wrote/said. For some reason online much of my innate shyness and self-consciousness vanishes. Partly, it is because I don't feel the weight of people's attention. When you write a blog you can't see who's looking at you and it's more like writing to yourself than talking to thousands of strangers. This might be in my head, but I do feel that walking down the street in a sheer blouse would turn heads (and not in approval) and I frankly, wouldn't feel comfortable with that. I also feel this effect would exist in small town and in a big city...although I did get fairly comfortable with unwanted stares while in Sapporo, Japan where short, pale girls were few and far between. Part of me was able to accept that attention because I knew I was the oddity and I could understand the reason people couldn't help looking at me. I feel quite differently when I'm visiting New York and I still feel as if I am getting significant attention; there seems far less legitimate reason for people to be looking at me and thus without an easy answer behind their curiosity my mind leaps to unwelcome theories that leave me uncomfortable.

Back to feeling comfortable posting online while turning bright red in the presence of a few strangers: I control exactly how I am presented here. I take my own pictures and ruthlessly cull those that don't meet my vision for that day. Want another irony? Part of the reason I shoot in secluded spots is because I dislike people being around when I'm taking my pictures. It's odd enough to set up your tripod and then pose for it; observation of said act is neither necessary nor desired. Yet, once again we have a strange paradox: a girl who dislikes being observed and photographed, openly shares numerous, daily photographs of herself. One explanation: as the creator of the images I often feel the photographs aren't about me, the subject but rather the outfit and the location; I care more about the overall look of the photograph (composition, location, lighting) as I do about my face and figure in it.
Although, the whole blog has made me more comfortable with the clothes I wear and posing for camera (even when someone else is occasionally behind it), and perhaps it has even made me more comfortable with myself (or I have become more comfortable with myself and the blog merely reflects that...). It's nearly a version of the "observer effect" or changes that the act of observation will make on the phenomenon being observed. My blog gives me a pleasant excuse to wear the clothes I want to wear and inspires me to try new things. Am I occasionally only wearing things in order to record the process, or "experiment?" Perhaps, but I don't try things out because I feel there will be some blog-related benefit to a style experiment, but rather as an opportunity for personal growth by stepping outside of my comfort zone and trying new things. The "observer effect" (as I am abusing the term) has led to me being more comfortable in different clothes. Numerous ventures outside of my usual realm have led to habitual styles that I find myself returning to with ease rather than intentional effort. Ultimately, if I'm still wearing the clothes what really makes that outfit and decision different from another girl who has similar motivations but allows the reasons behind their wardrobe to remain in the subconscious instead of endlessly analyzing things? After all, it is as much my desire to experience, record, and analyze that draws me to blogging as my enjoyment of the creative process of styling, photographing, and writing. Again though, is the blog driving me to change my style, or do I drive myself and blogging it is secondary?
Even if my reasons for certain outfits aren't entirely organically from myself, I still make the final decision on what to wear and how. Besides all of that: what is organic thought? What theory or idea has appeared in our minds that has not been influenced or inspired by all our observations and experiences? But this post is getting awfully long-winded and convoluted...I just wanted to write a little on some of the paradoxes and theories running around in my head lately.
I agree it is odd that I can feel comfortable in a sheer blouse online where more people have the potential of seeing me than I do in real life where my interactions and observers are more limited. Unfortunately, exploring the reasons behind that is like opening a can of worms...

Outfit details:
Hats in the Belfry hat
vintage dress
UO belt
Target tights
Bloch wedges & filigree ring via Gilt
The Quotation airplane ring

This dress has become one of my favorite pieces to wear regardless of the season. Here's a few ways I've worn it in the past.
*Thanks for everyone's wonderful feedback thus far. One point to clarify: I seem to have implied I don't wear my outfits out in real life all of the time; I did not mean to imply that. I meant: I would not wear the clothes out if I didn't have a blog to remember them on. I still wear all the outfits you see here out and about in my life.
It is just that in the process of recording our realities we alter them. What I would choose to wear if I did not have a blog would be different than what do you see me wearing on the blog. However, what I wear on the blog is also what I wear in real life. These are my outfits. Photographs are a motivation to dress nice, these aren't "photoshoots" constructed to showcase outfits I style and don't live in.


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